You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
