im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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