She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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