i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
