why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
