Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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