It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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