Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
