And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
