Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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