I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
