Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
