Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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