these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
