Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
