oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
