Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
