Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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