oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
