I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
