A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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