so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
