So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
