Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
