And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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