i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
