her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You were trust falling into bushes
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
