it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
