She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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