know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
