dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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