i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
