Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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