ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
