Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
