She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
