I'm sorry my penis didn't work
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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