do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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