Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
