idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
