he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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