She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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