you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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