If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The struggles of a small town man whore
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
