I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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