Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
