i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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