So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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