HIV tests are more positive than that guy
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
