I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
